Wednesday, December 31, 2014


The Underwhelming Tale of Jason Wells
By Cooper Davis Smith

Jason Wells wasn’t a good man. Though considering the others in the world he wasn’t too bad either. Like millions of others he was content living a perfectly grey life. Never drifting too far left or right nor speaking aloud about his opinions, in fact he never had much in the way of opinions at all. Jason Wells was, for all intents and purposes, Norman Smith who was also Julia Lawrence who was also John Doe.
Jason was born on August 13th of 1984. He went through school as a perfectly average student and graduated with one picture in the East Thompson High 2002 Yearbook. Jason wouldn’t see any of his “friends” again until his 10-year reunion.
As far as his adult life Jason aspired to be very little. He held a safe job as a phone salesman with a security company. It was his job to call people, bother them at their most inconvenient times, and then offer them something they did not care about in the least. It will suffice to say that Jason was not very successful.
It would be incorrect to say that Jason was depressed but it would be equally incorrect to say that Jason was happy. Jason was goop, the kind that rattles around an egg before you crack it open into a frying pan. Living in a permanent state of goop, Jason was undetermined.
He could have been a fireman, or a doctor, or even a vigilante crime fighter. And all it took for Jason to realize his potential was dying. Despite a completely average life, one filled with untraveled roads and never opened windows, Jason had a truly unique death.
On the evening of October 8th 2014, Jason was killed in a boating accident. That is, a boat being transported by plane fell from the sky and crushed poor Jason. The only solace the medical examiner could provide Jason’s family was that the death was painless. The only thought Jason had just before death was: Dear God, I have never experienced anything so painful in my life.
And so came the end of Jason Wells and the beginning of the review process. I am Jason’s reviewer. It is my job to determine whether or not Jason is allowed to go on to the next life, a mystical hootenanny of serenity and enlightenment; or if he should be condemned to reincarnation, the celestial equivalent of waiting in line at the DMV. I am one of many that review thousands of souls every day. In fact it was my idea to reincarnate Genghis Kahn as a cat in Mongolia, but this is not my story. It was Jason’s and he was not faring well.
Looking through his life, I see a rather large amount of: things never said, experiences never had, and risks never taken. These all weigh heavily on my final decision. At first glance it appears that Jason, like so many millions of people, will be reincarnated into a second life, one that is exactly the same. The only difference being that he won’t remember anything from before. It is on closer inspection that I change my mind.
Jason never had much of a thought. He never tried to exceed expectations and would only do what was put in front of him. Like his work, or helping an old woman with her groceries, or even helping a cat out of a tree.
Jason never had any aspirations, he was never happy, and he most certainly never gave a second thought to helping a person in need. In a world where so many people thought about what they could and would do, Jason just did.
Jason Wells was born on August 13th 1984 and died on October 8th of 2014. It is my review that approves a move onto the next life. Effective immediately.

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A writing student who loves to travel and learn. My interests include culture, religion, mythology, and pizza.


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