Yesteryear Fiction

Inventions
By Hamada Ito


Some inventions are just never taken seriously.

Take Doctor Crotowski’s inflatable crossbow: light as a feather, easy to transport, easy to hide, capable of delivering a bolt to its target with a level of speed and accuracy that approaches the norm. Some thought it was the innovation of the century, the contraption that would revolutionize warfare, but in the end the only thing it revolutionized were a few birthday parties, where disabled versions were given to children as balloons.

The Aether Guitar was another– designed by a wizard with a taste for heavy metal muzak, it consisted of a roughly guitar shaped disturbance in the natural flow of ambient energies we commonly associate with spirits and ghosts. The idea was that, by harnessing the flows of phlogiston like strings, new music could be produced seemingly out of nowhere. Unfortunately, the fact that the guitar was invisible made it hard to sell and its aetheric nature ultimately led to phenomena like traveling bands of poltergeists that caused enough disturbances to convince nearly every kingdom to ban the devices. Only the rebellious backlash to the ban survived, and then only in the form of what we now refer to as “Air Guitar.”

Yes, some inventions are just never taken seriously.


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